6 Weeks

This was a hard week for us, my baby. You were downright miserable. You cried and you cried and you cried. I had myself convinced that you were going through a growth spurt, the dreaded six week spurt, but after your Mimi was over with your Auntie Kris to bake cookies, she convinced me that I needed to call your doctor. You were refusing to sleep during the day for any naps and when you were awake you seemed miserable. So I called and Dr. Judge thinks that you may have acid reflux. We started you on Zantac just yesterday and I feel like I can see a slight improvement. I also am working on getting you calm and ready for bed earlier at night. We tried something new and took a bath together and you loved it! You loved the water and Mama moving you around in it, almost as though you were swimming. It was so cute to see you so happy and carefree.

Naked little boy....this was one my many attempts to get you to calm down. It worked!

Cuddles....our favorite activity of all.

Christmas is next week and I cannot wait for all the excitement! I know that you will not understand what will be going on at all, but Daddy and I will be sure to take lots and lots of video and pictures. I can just imagine how spoiled and loved on you will be! We took you to see Santa for the first time this past weekend. It was an entire family affair - Mama, Daddy, Papa, Mimi, Uncle Matt, Auntie Kris, Auntie Mackenzie and Auntie Michaela. Sweet boy, you have no idea how much you are loved by this family.

Here you are with Santa!

Family picture in front of your Christmas tree.

Even despite your crankiness and possible acid reflux, you still are smiling more and more. You have even started cooing and 'talking.' It is near enough to make my heart literally melt.

Smiles! (Nice, Santa...take note!)

 You have completely outgrown all of your newborn clothes and are getting to be such a big boy! I can see you having the type of body that your Daddy does - tall and lean. You are developing quite the double chin, but other than that, you don't have too many rolls yet! You are so tall though.

Even though we have had a rough week, not a moment goes by that I do not thank God for you in our lives. I just hope that this medicine will do the trick for you. Nothing hurts your Mama's heart more than seeing you miserable.

No caption needed.

Godspeed and sweet dreams, little man.

Looking back: Weeks 2-5

This is a look-back on weeks two through five. Do I remember much about those weeks? Nope. But do I remember some things about those weeks. Absolutely. I remember this: 

Bliss.

Love.

Exhaustion.

Love. 

Bliss.

Exhaustion.

Since we didn't get to bring you home until you were six days old, our lives started with you almost into your second week. I have never been so thankful to be home. (More to come on your homecoming, hospital stay and birth soon!)

We worked so hard to get our feet on the ground just like any Mama and Daddy would. You were a sweet baby and had lots of people coming and going visiting and seeing you. We celebrated Thanksgiving. And boy, were we thankful.

And we slept. We all did. Whenever we could. 

What will I always remember most from those first weeks at home? Bliss, love and exhaustion.

16 Weeks: Avocado

So I didn't say anything last week, but I thought I had felt the beginnings of movement. I kept talking myself down from it, convinced it was just gas. Which, it very well may have been. But, unless my digestive system has taken a turn for the worst, this baby is doing a good job of letting mama know that he/she is in there. It is in no way consistent and it only happens for a few seconds and then quickly disappears, but I'm almost positive that this is what I'm feeling. At first it felt like bubbles, but more recently it has been feeling like butterflies or flipping fish. It is something that you absolutely cannot put into words. It is to amazing to even describe. 

According to Pregnant Chicken, baby is the size of a grenade! I love the analogies that they use!

Disclaimer: I swear I know how to spell. Please forgive the misspelling of 'avocado.' This was our second photo take after Dan took about 10 pictures. I looked through them all and realized that I had put '17 Weeks' instead of 16. They are not kidding that this pregnancy brain really exists!

This is my view from the top. If this bump is any indicator of the size of the baby inside of it, we may have a big one on our hands!!!!

How far along? 16 weeks

How big is baby? Pumpkin is the size of a avocado - about 4.6 inches and weighs about 3.5 ounces. Baby is most likely listening to mommy's voice as tiny bones continue to form in his/her ears. Pumpkin is growing eyelashes, eyebrows and more hair. Taste buds are also forming this week. 

Any appointments or updates this week? Nothing again this week. Still anxiously waiting for our A/S scan on the 4th. 

Symptoms/body changes? I did not want to admit this, but, yeah, my morning sickness is back. I still have an appetite fit for an elephant, but mornings and more so evenings are filled with nausea and gagging back puke. I also think something adding to this is the recent onset of heartburn that I have been feeling. Again, all par for the course. 

Food cravings/aversions? Um, what doesn't sound good? I was watching TV sometime this week and every single commercial for food sounded divine. Even strange things that would NEVER sound good. At least the pickiness has subsided. I still have not been able to cook much at all, so my poor husband has been fending for himself and running to just about every take-out place for me within 15 minutes of the house. He really is a good man. 

  

Odds and Ends? Eh, nothing much. As I said earlier, feeling teeny tiny movements from pumpkin is the most amazing thing I have experienced so far this entire pregnancy. I cannot wait for Dan to be able to feel baby himself, even though he jokingly swears he was able to feel baby move around week 9. I keep telling him, "Honey, baby was the size of an olive then. Trust me, you did not feel movement." He loves to kid me and give me a hard time. 

There have been so many times in the past few weeks when reality has really set in. We (God-willing, and I'll be damned if we don't) will be bringing a baby home in five short months. Our family will no longer be Dan, myself and the dogs. There will be three of us. This morning we were driving to pick up breakfast spontaneously and I said to Dan, "pretty soon this will be no longer." There is so much excitement and anticipation in that prospect, but at the same time it has been the two of us for so long. I love being pregnant and cannot wait until this baby is in my arms. Until then, I am enjoying every single minute of just Dan and I. After all, we are the beginning of this amazing story. 

14 Weeks: Second Trimester!!!!

Various books, websites and doctors all differ on when the second trimester actually begins. Some places say 12 weeks, some 13 weeks, some 13 weeks and 3 days and others even mention 14 weeks. Seeing as I have passed all of those milestones, I can officially say that I have entered into the second trimester! While many people think that entering into the second trimester is entering into a so-called "safe zone," many women know all too well that this means nothing. If something horrific is going to happen to your baby, second trimester or not, unfortunately, it most likely is going to happen. However, odds do support the idea that the chances of miscarriage do significantly decrease once you have entered into this trimester. For me, it is just yet another milestone to pass. Another step to be celebrated. I have secretly anticipated this milestone for a while now and could not be happier to be here.

This big step also has brought with it yet another amazing experience for us. As I have mentioned in previous posts, listening to baby's heartbeat on the Doppler is such an amazing daily routine for me. In the past week or so, it has gotten so LOUD. This is just another indication for me that pumpkin is doing so well, growing big and strong and flourishing in there. I cannot wait for our ultrasound in a month to see him or her again. At that time we get to find out if pumpkin is a him or her!!!!

According to Pregnant Chicken (an unconventional pregnancy website I have subscribed to) pumpkin is the size of a cupcake with sprinkles this week! As a good friend said to me, "a cupcake with sprinkles is absolutely bigger than one without!" Hi there, my little cupcake.

How far along? 14 weeks

How big is baby? Pumpkin is the size of a lemon - about 3.4 inches and weighs about 1.5 ounces. Baby is most likely sucking his/her thumb and dancing up a storm in there. Lanugo, a peach like fuzz, is also developing all over baby to help keep him/her warm. Pumpkin's kidneys are producing urine and the liver and spleen are also doing their jobs!

Any appointments or updates this week? Nothing this week. We had another OB appointment on Thursday. It was my first appointment without Dan, but all went perfectly. No ultrasound (my spoiled days are over) but we did listen to the baby's heartbeat with the Doppler. Dr. D found it within milliseconds. I felt like such a regular OB patient, which is such a great feeling. I have another appointment scheduled in four weeks and then less than a week after that is our anatomy scan where we will see pumpkin again. At that time, the tech will measure the arms, legs and other body parts and make sure that the heart and other organs are in working condition. We will also get to find out if pumpkin is a boy or girl. We absolutely cannot wait!!!

Symptoms/body changes? Two new symptoms in the past week. Lots of tears and bleeding gums. I actually have a dentist appointment tomorrow, so we will see how that goes, even though bleeding gums are totally normal in pregnancy. As for the tears, they are unpredictable and can come on at a moments notice. I have been feeling very attached to Dan lately and well, crying at just about everything.

Food cravings/aversions? All I can say is, "welcome back, appetite!!!" Any and everything sounds good right about now. Some weird things that sound extra good lately are bologna, tuna fish and Crunchwrap Supremes from Taco Bell. You know, all very healthy things. Sure, right.

  

Odds and Ends? Not too much. I completely overdid it outside this weekend getting our patio cleaned up and my garden ready to be planted. I need to remember that the weekends are meant to be restful at some point. Repeat to self, "restful." 

I am so incredibly overwhelmed by the response and support we got from our announcement on Facebook last week. I had so many phone calls, texts, Facebook messages, emails and cards, congratulating us and reminding us that we will continue to be in their prayers. All I have to say is that this kiddo will be so spoiled and loved once they come into this world. They already are and it makes me so excited to see all the love that they will know. God has blessed us in so many ways, but the most important way is with all the friends and family we have in our life. I could not ask for more supportive and loving people to welcome our miracle into this world. I cannot wait for you to get here and meet everyone, my pumpkin. This world can be such a beautiful place. 

Until then, mommy is waiting to feel you move. Any day now, kiddo. 

13 Weeks: Godparenthood

This week's bump photo is different than all the rest. No chalkboard and no yellow wall. We were out of town for the weekend for our goddaughter, Claire's baptism. It was so wonderful to get away for an evening and spend some time with family and celebrate this beautiful baby girl. Dan and I couldn't be more honored to be chosen to be godparents to such a smiley, loving little girl. 

Nothing much is new in pregnancy-land. This past week was spent sharing our exciting news with family, friends and co-workers in person and over the phone. Doing so was both exhilarating and terrifying for me. 

One of the OB's said something to me this week that really stuck with me. She was reassuring me (yet again) and told me that although this baby looks "too perfect" and she really thinks at this point I have nothing to worry about, she will never be able to take away the fear and uncertainty that our past experiences bring. I feel so blessed to have an OB practice that truly understands the PGAL mentality, and is willing to do whatever they reasonably can to make this pregnancy as enjoyable and stress free as possible for me. 

My 'bump' continues to get harder and rounder by the day and is now noticeable to even strangers. I have gotten a couple 'congratulations' from people at the mall and while out to eat. The whole experience is so surreal to me. I feel so blessed to be able to know what a blessing this baby is for Dan and I. I just cannot stop smiling.

This picture doesn't really do justice to my round little bump. But I loved the stone in the background and wanted this as a reminder of Claire's big day.

How far along? 13 weeks

How big is baby? Pumpkin is the size of a peach - about 3 inches and weighs almost 1 ounce. Baby's tooth sockets are forming, as are her vocal chords and hair follicles. Baby now even has a distinct fingerprint. Peach week is one that I have been looking very forward to. I feel like that peach is so sustainable and solid. Even Dan said yesterday, "Man, a peach is big. That baby is growing like crazy."

Any appointments or updates this week? We have another OB appointment on Thursday. Nothing special, but I am looking forward to seeing my OB. I want to get the official number results from the N/T scan and chat about some questions I have. If I haven't said it before, I will say it again. I love Dr. D. She is the best. This will be my first OB or RE appointment that Dan will not be able to come for. Personally, it is a big step for me to not have him there with me. It is a simple thing that reminds me how much more confident I am becoming in this pregnancy as a whole.

Symptoms/body changes? Nothing new at this point. Sleeping is getting somewhat uncomfortable and seeing as I'm tired 24/7 it makes for some interesting days. Lets just say, I'm not as pleasant as I should be. My crabbiness has absolutely gotten the best of me at times. Poor Dan.

Food cravings/aversions? Candy. Twizzlers. Sour patch kids. Hot tamales. Gummy bears. Lifesavers. 

  

Odds and Ends? Nothing really at all right now. I am hoping to make an announcement here on Facebook sometime tonight or early this week. This of course has me quite anxious, but I keep telling myself that this is normal - as do all of my dear PGAL friends. As soon as I can get this blog updated and presentable, I have a darling photo to share with the world. 

The world. Pretty soon, my sweet pumpkin, everyone will know our excitement and anticipation for your arrival. I couldn't be more humbled and amazed. 

12 Weeks: Plum

Twelve weeks?!?! This is a huge week for me as it is the final full week of the first trimester and I have looked forward to this milestone for a very long time. Each week that goes by reminds me how truly blessed we are. 

For the first time this entire pregnancy I am feeling more confident to wear more form fitting clothes. This bump isn't going to be able to be hidden for much longer!

How far along? 12 weeks

How big is baby? Pumpkin is the size of a plum - about 2.1 inches and weighs .49 ounces. Baby's arms and legs continue to lengthen and muscle control is developing. This means that baby is making more and more movements with his/her arms and legs. 

Any appointments or updates this week? We have our N/T scan tomorrow. The N/T scan, also known as the nuchal translucency screen is used to help assess the risk of the baby developing Down's syndrome and other chromosomal issues. This is done by taking a few simple measurements during an in-depth ultrasound and combining those results with some blood work results. I am really looking forward to this ultrasound, surprisingly. I want so desperately for it to go well. God willing it does, I will be able to breathe such a huge sigh of relief. I cannot wait to see our little one in so much detail. 

Symptoms/body changes? I thought I was tired before. Um, no. And I know there will come a time when I will look back and laugh uncontrollably at myself, but for now, I am exhausted. By 4pm, I am done for the night. I am still battling some on and off nausea and food aversions, but nothing I can't handle. The other OB we saw this week told me that she has hopes that once I go off of my progesterone suppositories in a week and a half, she thinks the remaining nausea will subside. The only other annoyance has been headaches. Every day, for the past week, around 2pm, without fail, a debilitating headache sets in. Sometimes I can nip it in the bud, by drinking a Pepsi, or chugging lots of water, but sometimes nothing works. Headaches are something I am used to, as I used to get them all the time even when I wasn't pregnant. Again, totally tolerable. 

My bump, well, lets just say, people have started asking. It is almost embarrassing to me, because frankly, I am not that far along to be showing as much as I am. But, whatever. My closest pregnant friends keep telling me to own it. I'm working on it, I promise!!

Food cravings/aversions? This is just downright weird. For those who know me - really know me - they know I love me some fast food. And burgers, and fries, and chicken wings, and well, anything not good for you. But lately, I've been having a 'hankering' (because I can't quite call it a 'craving') for fruits and veggies. I haven't eaten so much salad in all my life and the fact that I want cucumbers to snack on instead of potato chips is downright foreign to me. Oh well, I'll take it. 

  

Odds and Ends? Dan and I got to have an appointment with my hematologist this week. He wanted to see me in the office to just talk about lab values, my Lovenox plans and just to check in. If I ever know of anyone in the Cleveland area who needs a hematologist/oncologist, Dr. Lichtin, he is your guy. We love him to death and quite frankly, I think he is the smartest person I know. He told us my numbers looked great and I can go down to monthly blood draws. We also talked about vaginal delivery v. cesarean and while he didn't get into much detail he did mention that there was the possibility that I may need a c-section. Honestly, I don't really care either way, and I will leave that up to him and the amazing Dr. D.

We also were able to share our exciting news with my grandma this evening. She was at my parents for dinner and was elated to say the least. As she is the last of my living grandparents, it was a special moment to share with her. I can only imagine that my other grandma and grandpas are looking down on us with excitement. I also plan on telling the rest of my extended family this week: aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. While this still scares me in so many ways, I know it is a natural step to take. I cannot wait to share this baby with those who have prayed and dreamed about its arrival for such a long time.

11 Weeks: Lime

Lime week!! Think about holding a lime in your hand. There is substance to a lime. The idea of this baby growing bigger and stronger every day makes my heart skip a beat every time I think of it.

How far along? 11 weeks

How big is baby? Pumpkin is the size of a lime - about 1.6 inches and weighs .29 ounces. Baby is wiggling and moving fluidly now. Pumpkin's fingers and toes are no longer webbed!

Any appointments or updates this week? We have another follow-up appointment with the OB on Thursday. I am feeling awfully spoiled by all the appointments and ultrasounds we are getting - and I love it. I am feeling good about the appointment because I am now getting to be a pro at using the doppler. Knowing baby's heart is pumping strong keeps me reassured and feeling so great.

Symptoms/body changes? Moodiness. Crankiness. Irritability. All I can say is my poor, poor husband. He should honestly win an award. 

Food cravings/aversions? Not too much. My appetite continues to return and things like watermelon sound divine. Anything juicy and refreshing is what my tastebuds are calling for!

  

Odds and Ends? Nothing much. I am loving using the doppler to hear baby's heartbeat on a daily basis. I have been doing it in the evenings - I can seem to find the heartbeat pretty quickly around this certain time of the night. 

10 Weeks: Fetushood

Pumpkin has now entered into 'fetushood'!!!!! He/she is no longer an embryo, but has developed enough to be deemed a fetus. This is a big milestone, one of which I never thought I would ever see. This whole process just never ceases to amaze me. I cannot wait to see what is yet to come.

That bump is getting pretty legit. It is getting harder and lower and I love it.

How far along? 10 weeks

How big is baby? Pumpkin is the size of a prune - about 1.2 inches and weighs about .14 ounces. Pumpkin is now swallowing and kicking up a storm in there. Fingernails start to form this week, as do teeny sprouts of hair. All of baby's vital organs are in place and are starting to function. 

Any appointments or updates this week? Nothing this week. 

Symptoms/body changes? Nothing too new. My appetite is still slowly returning, which I am obviously so happy about. I feel way more tired than I did before, but nothing worth complaining about.

Food cravings/aversions? Chinese. I think we've ordered takeout two or three times just in the past week. I think the rice settles my stomach and fills it up all at the same time. Baby seems to tolerate it well!

  

Odds and Ends? Nada.

Things around here have gotten pretty boring. As I see it, boring is good. It is great. I am loving life and sleeping a lot. Now, off to sleep.

9 Weeks: Olive

Today is Easter and we got to spend some great time with our extended family. My immediate family is living it up in Mexico (jealous!), so Dan and I made our rounds from church, to my aunts and then back home to spend time with my brother and his girlfriend. I'm feeling extra blessed today and also quite excited. A dear friend of mine went into labor this evening! She is a loss mom and has been down a difficult road. I am so excited to welcome her baby boy into this world and meet him very soon!

How far along? 9 weeks

How big is baby? Pumpkin is the size of an olive - about .9 inches. Baby weighs about .07 ounces! Pumpkin's facial features are more distinct now - with definite ears, nose and a mouth. The placenta is now fully functioning as well!

Any appointments or updates this week? We have our first OB appointment with Dr. D. I am excited and nervous all at the same time. I cannot wait to see her, she always makes me feel so much better about things. 

Symptoms/body changes? Still tired and nauseated pretty frequently. The vomiting has subsided, but the nausea remains. Strangely enough, it is worse in the evenings when I get home from work. The term 'morning sickness' should just be changed to 'whenever your body feels like making you feel like crap - sickness,' or something like that!

Food cravings/aversions? Celery. That is weird, right? I have no explanation for it, other than we were at my in-laws this weekend and my MIL had a veggie tray - I ate all the celery off of it and now I can't get enough. And frozen yogurt. Dan has had to run to Menchies many evenings right as they are closing. 9pm and frozen yogurt go hand-in-hand pretty well. Lots of foods still sound absolutely horrid to me, but I have to say that my appetite is slowly returning. I'm hoping things keep up. 

  

Odds and Ends? Not much. Still chugging along with the Lovenox shots and they are nothing more than a part of my daily routine at this point. You can find syringes all over the house and in the cars - it really is quite funny.

Next week, pumpkin officially enters into it's "fetus" stage. I am really looking forward to that week and entering into double digit weeks. I honestly cannot believe how fast the time is flying - I never thought I would be saying that.

8 Weeks: Raspberry

Today we told our immediate families!! I was hesitant to do so and really wanted to wait until our appointment on Thursday, but Dan desperately wanted to tell, especially my family and siblings, and we did. They of course were elated and couldn't be happier for us. 

8 week, lots of clothes are starting to get tight, loads of bloat, non-bump picture!

How far along? 8 weeks

How big is baby? Pumpkin is the size of a raspberry - about .62 inches. Baby now weighs a teeny .04 ounces! Baby's arms and legs are moving like crazy and baby's taste buds are forming this week!

Any appointments or updates this week? We have our second appointment and ultrasound with Dr. M on Thursday. I will be 8w4d. If we have a good appointment on Thursday it will be the most pregnant I have ever been. Thursday cannot come fast enough!

Symptoms/body changes? Same as last week. The morning sickness has yet to subside and I have been blessed with another fun symptom. Constipation. People are not joking when they tell you that being constipated hurts like heck. I will get into no more details than that, but it is nothing to mess around with. Ick.

Food cravings/aversions? Still very very little appetite. I have been finding some things that curb my hunger that plagues me all day long. Peanut butter Girl Scout cookies for one, and lots of pretzels. Meals in a whole fashion, ie. meat, veggie, fruit, etc. just do not exist at this point. I am praying that soon I can start eating like a real human again. 

  

Odds and Ends? Nothing much. Quiet is good - I keep telling myself that.

7 Weeks: Blerg.

Morning sickness is no joke. No joke. This has been my worst week so far and I am surprised I am still here to recount it. Not only have I been sick with typical pregnancy afflictions, I also spent the weekend in bed with a terrible cold/sinus issue. I literally did not leave my bed all weekend. 

My 7 week, non-bump, lots of bloat, Happy St. Patty's day, exhausted photo.

How far along? 7 weeks

How big is baby? Pumpkin is the size of a blueberry - about .51 inches. Baby's arm and leg buds are getting longer and the joints in her arms and legs are forming. Baby's brain and heart are becoming more complex and baby's kidneys begin to form this week.

Any appointments or updates this week? Nothing this week. We will have our second ultrasound appointment next week. I can't wait!

Symptoms/body changes? Morning sickness. And more morning sickness. I have had to run to the bathroom a few times at this point and have lost my lunch a couple of times too. I have zero, I mean zero appetite and feel sick to my stomach 24/7. I also started with a terrible cold or sinus infection a few days ago and have never blown my nose so much in my entire life. In a few books and online I read that an increase in nasal congestion is actually common for early pregnancy. I am hoping that whatever this is is on its last leg so I can at least go to work this week. 

Food cravings/aversions? Nothing sounds good. Nothing. I swear I had to have lost at least 5-7 pounds in the past two weeks from a lack of eating. I got worried and called the doctor about it. The nurse said that as long as I am able to keep down fluids and can stomach even the smallest of snacks, I am fine. She said, "baby is getting everything it needs right now - you are just the one suffering." I can totally deal with that. 

  

Odds and Ends? Nothing much. Now back to bed I must go. 

6 Weeks: Moving Right Along

This week consecutively flew by and crept by all at once; if that's even possible. I am six weeks today, which is very exciting for me because that means that pumpkin's heart starts beating this week and we have our first appointment and ultrasound. Our baby's heart is beating!

This is my 6 week, exhausted, just woke up from a nap, lots of bloat, non-bump.

How far along? 6 weeks

How big is baby? Pumpkin is the size of a sweet pea - about .25 inches. Over the course of this week, pumpkin will double in size!

Any appointments or updates this week? We have our first prenatal appointment and ultrasound on Thursday, when I will be 6w4d. My prayer is that we see a healthy, thriving baby with a strong heartbeat.

Symptoms/body changes? An insane type of exhaustion that plagues me 24/7. I am nauseated when I wake in the mornings, whenever I am hungry, anytime after I eat and typically from 9pm until bedtime. Gas, bloating, heartburn and constipation, all of which seem to go hand in hand. Also, things that come and go - headaches, hot flashes and  irritable beyond belief - poor Dan has been the victim of that one too many times. 

By the end of the day, I am bloated like crazy. My boobs are getting a little bigger and my hips are still killing me. While this week has been the worst I've felt thus far, I am in no way complaining. I would endure anything for my rainbow.

Food cravings/aversions? My appetite has been less than ideal lately. Dan actually said to me this weekend, "you look skinny, like you are losing weight. I hope you're eating enough for you and baby." The thing is, I have no appetite. My tummy is starving constantly, but very few things sound good. I am craving everything sweet - rice crispie treats, Girl Scout cookies, donuts, Popsicles, cinnamon toast, anything with lots and lots of sugar. I had a serious craving this week for a gyro and I want cheese on everything. I have eaten an embarrassing amount of block pepper-jack cheese over the past two weeks. I really need to start focusing on eating healthy - fruits, veggies and protein. God help me. 

  

Odds and Ends? I am still adjusting to the Lovenox shots, but I am getting so much more comfortable with them. The right side of my tummy has an insane amount of bruises, but I seem to be bruising a lot less. I also get my blood drawn on Monday for my hematologist. He will be checking my platelet levels bi-weekly until he feels reassured that the Lovenox will not be bringing my old ITP back. 

I have fallen so head over heels in love with this baby over the course of this week. This is a very strange and foreign feeling to me at this point. That is not to say that I did not love both of my angels when they were in my belly, but I was always so worried about what was going to go wrong, that I forgot to just enjoy being pregnant. My vow to myself, Dan and my baby this time around was to enjoy every single minute of this. A common mantra for mamas who are pregnant after a loss(es) is, "Today I am pregnant and I love my baby." Today I am pregnant and I love my baby. A-freaking-men. 

Week 5: Appleseed

Our little secret. It is hard knowing what's going on inside of my body and not wanting to shout it from the rooftops. Dan and I, and a few of my very close girlfriends are the only people who know our secret. While it is hard to keep, after our last loss, I vowed that I would keep it that way. Telling people, even if it was just our immediate family and then untelling them is heartbreaking. I hate knowing that someone else's heart is hurting because of my plight. Dan has been very supportive of this and I am so thankful of that.

My first 'bump' picture of this pregnancy - obviously minus any sort of bump.

How far along? 5 weeks

How big is baby? Pumpkin is the size of an apple seed - about .13 inches. Over the course of this week, pumpkin will almost double in size! 

Any appointments or updates this week? Nothing this week. Still anticipating our first appointment next week. I feel like it cannot come fast enough.

Symptoms/body changes? Every possible symptom? Okay, I may be over-exaggerating a tad, but it sure feels like it. Overall, I am mostly tired and starting with some nausea. Hot flashes are keeping me up at night, which is not going hand in hand with my exhaustion well at all. 

Food cravings/aversions? Nada.

  

Odds and Ends? The Lovenox shots are keeping me on my toes. I am slowly becoming accustomed to them, but it still takes me a good minute or so before I can work up the courage to actually stick myself with the needle. I know I will get better at it - in due time.

For those who have been pregnant before, you know that this point in time feels like one of the longest. All I want is that ultrasound to be here so I can see my baby and make sure that everything is progressing as it should. Until then, my prayers and deep breathing will have to be enough.